Sex and football!

I have noticed that since the European Championship has started the number of calls I get has lessened.

There also seems less activity on my e-mail, my blog and twitter. I have a theory that men need constant excitement and adrenalin rush. So football can compensate for a fuck. I will let you know what happens when the football finishes.

Anyhow, I have decided to take a football theme and look at words that can be associated with both football and sex. Men need a vocabulary that is interelated so they don't have to think too much when they are excited!

Let's take the word 'score'. You try to score a goal when you play football. Both Italy and England were unsuccessful here.. But if you go to a disco etc and find a woman who is fond of you, you also score. I have often heard the expression 'I scored last night', which means 'I shagged last night', which is better said 'I made love last night'.

To score you need a ball. A football! However, men have balls between their legs and they like them licked and caressed. You can also constrict the balls to prolong ejaculation. The expression, 'he has balls', means that he is confident and brave.

A football team is made up of a defense, a midfield and an attack. When I was young in Naples I was always defending my sexual organs as they were all being attacked. I was constantly being touched up.
I prefer, however, a midfielder. He is the class player, he caresses his ball, plays careful and well orchestrated manoevres and when needed slows the game down.

The attacker can be useful if you are really randy. He is in and out quickly and always wants to score. He can be selfish and arrogant. So you only play with him if you have a strong urge.

Another expression I like is 'to slide in'. In football a slide tackle is a bit antiquated nowadays as it is often penalised. But it was a very exciting thing to watch. It involved good timing and courage. With regards sex, 'to slide in' usually means the vagina is wet and so there has been some foreplay and the vagina now needs to be penetrated!

Heading skills are important for a footballer as it is for an escort. men often write about a woman 'giving good head'.

And finally, although we could go on for ever, is 'put it on my chest'. In football this means a ball passed to the chest of a player who then controls it. Often this is a move following a throw in. With escorting this usually means a man ejaculating over my breasts. And this happens often. And I like it.

So if you want to try out some football skills you can always pay a visit!!!!! There is no offside with me!

dariax@hotmail.co.uk

0039 3281769818