Fucked but no bread!

There I am shopping
Ham in hand
Walking towards the bread counter
Thinking what else I need
And the phone rings

Am I available now
And I rush home
And suddenly I am in bed
Cock in hand, and naked
A hand manoevring towards my cunt

My bedmate looks thrilled, excitied
His eyes lusting for more
And he comes, a lot
And then dresses and rushes home
And I lay there fucked but no bread

dariax@hotmail.co.uk

0039 3281769818

Prose for Pros 25-My friend the condom!

He is my saviour

He's saved me from many things

And I am grateful for his slippery protection

He's been a barrier, he's been a latex safety wall

A thin gossamer that fights my foes

And fights my woes

He's a cover, he's a coat, he's a security blanket

He slips on and he is a fellow passenger in all of  my fucks

He's been close, he's been near

A second skin to placate a fear

And an endearing mate

He normally goes round in 3s or 12s

But I buy a gross, I am greedy

I buy the most

A cheap resource to maintain my smile

A French letter, a Belgium coat, a rubber

A friend

dariax@hotmail.co.uk

0039 3281769818

Breast of friends-Prose for Pros 15

                                 My Cleavage

It is a tunnel of love, a valley of desire
A place to put your cock
It's a slippery ravine, a lusty canyon
A place to exercise your tongue

It's a welcoming, inviting slope
A place to rest your head
And it is part of me
That catches the eye

Its a part of me that catches glances
That men zoom in on
A place where men feel at home
It's a man zone

It's a man's layby
A man's retreat
It is where they eat
And suck and kiss and cry

dariax@hotmail.co.uk

0039 3281769818

Condoms are a girls best friend!

Now it may surprise you that most of the men that visit me never bring a condom with them. One reason may be they have a wife or partner and don't want to have condoms found in their wallet or pocket. But I am still surprised. Consequently, I am a great user of my own condoms. And I do use a lot.

If you go to a supermarket and buy a packet of 12 you will realise that condoms are expensive. There are two ways to cut the cost.

1. Buy in bulk from an internet provider.

2. Make friends with someone working in family planning.

Now in Italy I tend to use the first solution, whilst in the UK I got most of my condoms free from a family planning clinic. UK has a lot of teenage pregnancies and so in an effort to prevent this they often give out free condoms. And you don't have to be a teenager!!!!

During a visit to the family planning clinic a friend  working there once told me a very funny and also embarrassing story. My friend was doing some research for a project on condoms and one of the things she needed to do was to compare how far each make of condom could stretch.

The project was part of a training course she was on and she was doing most of the research at home.

When she came to doing the stretching of the condoms she needed another pair of hands. Now at that moment the only spare pair of hands available were those of her 6 year old son. So she explained to him what she was doing and told him it was a game. And the boy enjoyed it.

However, the next day the boy came home from school and as usual my friend asked him about his day and what he had been up to. He looked at her and said he had being doing normal stuff. Then he looked at her a little quizzically and said his English teacher had laughed at his English story. My friend reddened a little not knowing what to expect and asked, 'What was your story about?'. The boy looked at her and after a few seconds said that he had been asked to write a story about what he had done the night before. And turning to his Mum he said '! wrote about our game!'.

Luckily my friend had a good rapport with her son's teacher who knew what her job was. She was, however, still very embarraseed.

Is there a moral here? Well one could be never to going stretching condoms but maybe the best one is to always have a good reason for doing something!

And if the reason is to have a relaxing and enjoyable time, well get in touch.

dariax@hotmail.co.uk

0039 3281769818

Condoms!

Last night I was thinking about condoms and how expensive they are in Italy. I buy them cheaper from the Uk and I buy in bulk!!!! But even when buying in bulk they are not cheap. Infact when I lived in the UK you could get them free from 'Family Planning'. 

 If balloons were so expensive you would never have them at parties.

And that is all they are, strong balloons. They make themselves sound more technical and scientific but they are balloons. Some sex parties even use them as balloons.

Here is something I read on a website.



Durex is the UK’s leading condom brand.  They have a reputation for being extremely safe and secure.  Every single condom is made from the highest quality material and they are individually electronically tested.  Durex also offers one of the widest ranges of condoms and lubricants on the market, all of which are available at British Condoms.

The Durex range offers something for everybody.  Whether it’s the ever popular Extra Safe or Elite, the fruity Select, the larger Comfort XL, the ultra thin Fetherlite or the snug fitting Close Fit, you are sure to find the perfect condom for you.

British Condoms are also proud to bring to you exclusively, the Durex Value Mix 1 and the Durex Value Mix 2.  The Durex Value Mix one consists of 12 x Durex Extra Safe, 12 x Durex Elite and 12 x Durex Pleasuremax.  The Durex Value Mix 2 consists of 12 x Durex Elite, 12 x Durex Pleasuremax and 12 x Durex Select.  

So if you’re looking to find the perfect Durex condom for you and your partner then get yours from www.britishcondoms.co.uk today! 

Condoms have some wonderful names.

You get 'Delay', I imagine this is to stop you coming too quick. There is 'Buzzex', this has a vibrating ring. This buzzes aound the clitoris making it more pleasurable for the woman. There is Trojan Magnum for the man who is too big for normal condoms. And it goes on.

The point I am making here is that I have only one type and tend to use just the one. And yet nobody who has visited me has said, 'I don't usually use these.' or 'I am sorry I would not be seen dead with that on my cock.' It seems when we get to the nitty gritty we would wear anything.

Which reminds me of an evening a number of years ago. I was in Devon, UK and was with a very romantic young man. He was courteous, graceful and very charming. 

By the end of the evening I wanted him to fuck me. I gave great hints that he could be between my legs any time he wanted. 

Anyway, it turns out he had not brought any condoms. He felt that to have done so would have been wrong as he respected me!!! At the time I did not carry them. I felt if I carried them around men would get the wrong idea! So we spent an age running in and out of pubs so he could enter the male toilets and find a condom machine.

He eventually did and he fucked me. It was good, not totally memorable but good. But nowhere in this saga was 

the brand, or type of condom discussed. He just wanted something to cover his cock and he was not worried 


about the colour, taste or whether it was ribbed or not. 

And to be honest, I must have had all kinds of condoms pumping away inside me. And yet if you were to ask me whether I could tell the difference the answer would be no. 

So when I read the following.

Trojan Extended Pleasure condoms have a special lubricant that helps to control climax and prolong sexual excitement for longer lasting lovemaking

I know it is just advertising. They cannot just write, 'it is like all other condoms it goes on your cock and it can be a right pain.'

They are a right pain and they are far too expensive! I imagine the cost is such to pay the high salaried writers of their adverts. Now there is a job I could easily do!

Any condom company needing a writer or even someone to try out new models, get in touch.

dariax@hotmail.co.uk

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In Praise Of The Condom!

The poor condom gets a lot of blame for many things so I thought I would redress this here. The condom justly deserves some positive press.

 It is one reason I am fit and healthy, still able to have an active sex life and can write a post about it.

Nonetheless, it is often derided,many men visiting me have said the following


-The reason I cannot get a hard on is the condom
-The reason I cannot keep a hard on is the condom
-The reason I came early was the condom
-The reason I cannot come is the condom

Condoms come in different sizes, different shapes, different colours, different material and different taste. About 12 billion are sold in one year.

Amazingly, although there are many theories about where the word 'condom' comes from the origins of the word are still unclear. As is the history of its use, but many feel that they have been in use since Egyptian times and often were worn to prevent disease and not stop babies.

Now when it comes to buying a condom to fit must be a problem for most men. It must be difficult asking for a small size. It's a bit like a woman and her dress size but the opposite way. Here is a link to an article indicating that it could even be a countrywide rather than an individual one.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/6161691.stm

Obviously men like the idea of being studs and bulls and prefer to be asking for the giant sized condom. Here is a letter I found.

Dear Alice,

In my shopping and looking for condoms, I NEVER come across a formal size chart. I have been told that I was "endowed" and that I need to look toward larger sized models, but All I ever see is "snug fit," "large," and "extra large," etc. How big is big? It would be most helpful if I knew what I was buying before I actually bought it. Do you know of the sizes of some popular condoms, or of a size chart resource.

Thanks,
Endowed

Dear Endowed,

Well isn't that a lovely little (er, big) quandary to have! There does seem to be a lack of information about the sizes of condoms, but don't fear, you too can find a condom that fits. And a good fit can't be under-estimated: a poorly-fitting condom can undermine its effectiveness in preventing STIs and pregnancy, as well as interfere with the pleasure and sensations for both partners during sex.

First, penis size. The most common penis length falls somewhere around six inches when erect; anywhere from five to seven inches when erect is considered typical. Condoms are meant to have a little extra space at the tip to allow room for ejaculate. Research findings regarding condom size, penis size, and breakage and slippage rates have been mixed. While it is certain that condoms can strech to many times their normal size (just try having a condom water balloon fight and you'll end up carrying balloons as big as watermelons), some studies have found that men with larger penises experience condom breakage more frequently than men with typical- or smaller-sized penises (others studies show that breakage rates are the same regardless of penis size). In addition, if a condom is too short, some STIs could be transmitted between the exposed part of the penis and the partner.

Penis girth also affects how a condom fits. The average penis girth (circumference) is 4.5 to 5 inches. If your girth is above average, a standard sized condom might feel uncomfortably tight and the larger sized condoms could be appropriate for you. For readers whose penis length or girth is less than average, it's important to note that standard condoms could simply fall off during sex. Snug fit condoms, which are a bit, well, snugger, are a good option for these fellows.

Condom manufacturers may have once catered only to "average" size men; however, these days condoms come in many shapes and sizes. Here is a chart that gives some common measurements for different size condoms:

	Snug	Standard	Larger
Length of condom (inches)	7 to 7.8	7.25 to 7.8	7.25 to 8.1
Diameter of condom (inches)	1.75	1.75 to 2	2 to 2.25

As you can see, a condom that is called "large" may in fact have the same dimensions as another brand's standard-fit. Different condom manufactures use slightly different measurements and have a number of shapes available, so you may want to try a few condoms on for size to which is most comfortable. Custom-made condoms do exist and are available on the internet, by mail, or at a sexuality specialty shop. Check out this Condom Wizard to learn about condom shapes, sizes, textures and more.  

To find out "how big is big" or where you fall along the penis size continuum, you can measure your erect penis to know for sure. Or for even more fun, have a partner do it! Measure your length from the tip of the head along the upper side of the shaft to the point where the penis joins the body. For girth, measure the penis circumference at the widest point using a tape measure or a piece of string. As you probably are aware, condoms are the best way to prevent against STIs as well as a reliable pregnancy prevention method. No matter the size of your penis you should be able to find a condom that fits you well, that will keep you and your partner protected, and allow all the pleasures of sex to thrive! Enjoy and good luck.

So what sized condom would you ask for? I imagine for embarrassment sake they do not come in sizes like 'small'. 'tiny' or 'minute' but would start at 'average' and go up in size from there.

Now a condom is a very good way to find out how sexually experienced a woman is. A virgin could not open the pack whilst I wrip it open with my teeth. An inexpereinced women would roll the condom out the wrong way whillst mine rolls like an Amsterdam cafe owners cigarette. Most women have problems putting a condom on a man. I use my mouth!

 I have no fear of a condom as it is a friend, a buddy a pleasure giver.

Now just as man often hates a condom women tend not to moan at all. Of course we would like natural sex. To feel a man ejaculate inside is an incredibly satisfying feeling. Nonetheless, we understand the benefits of being fucked by a condom worn cock and relax and enjoy sex more when it is on.

 For us women a condom can often be an orgasm giver as we can allow our desires and passions to take over once we feel safer.

So I was thinking about how to improve the male attitude to condoms. 

Maybe I should set up a business where men can come and try to find the best condom for them. I could offer fitting sessions. It would be a place a man can decide what is the best size, best colour, best shape etc for his personal use and desires and he could have a trial run wirh me. What do you think???

Let me know.

dariax@hotmail.co.uk

0039 3281769818

And here is a list of other terms for condom. We can learn to love them all!!!

• French letters
• Parisian
• English overcoats
• English riding-coat

• Rubbers
• Rubbermen
• Rubber Johnnies
• Rubber strait jackets
• Rubber magic
• Plastic wrap

• Hazmat suits
• Battle helmets
• Safety tools
• Sheaths
• Bulletproof vests
• Safes
• The goalies
• Robbers

• Wetsuits
• Raincoats
• Overcoats
• Venus shirts
• Hoodies
• Hats
• Penis hats
• Cock socks
• Dick socks
• Johnny bags
• Gloves
• Love gloves
• Willie warmers

• Jimmies
• Jimmy Hatz
• Wrappers
• Wiener wrappers
• Condomus Maximus
• Prophylactics
• Preservatives
• Caps
• Balloons
• Dingers
• Scumbags
• Blobs
• Flunkies
• Frangers
• The tour guide

Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_other_names_for_condoms#ixzz1y1pNn3aG